The mess needs to go! The post holiday paralysis is setting in as I waffle between having an epic cleaning episode and finishing off each cookie tin by myself. But my whole family is on “break” and another mess will instantly appear, causing me to take deep breaths to maintain my composure. My children have that glazed look in their eyes from too much video input – the Wii, DS, Xbox, iPOD. Although I only have 3 kids, my house resembles a scene from “Cheaper by the Dozen”, because our lives are revolving sleepovers. The left-over brandy slush is beckoning to me from the freezer and it’s not even noon yet.
Did I mention that I work from home? Let’s put that in quotes. Did I mention that I “work” from home? People live where I work.
More and more of us, men and women, are self-employed. I know you’re out there! You’re fighting to maintain your home office during the holidays just like me! You’re torn between needing to work and taking time to be with your family. No one wants to be the Grinch. After all, we chose this lifestyle so we could have the freedom and flexibility to enjoy our families more! I’ve tried different strategies to make this time more productive, but there is one concept that has kept me sane during the holidays, and it doesn’t involve the brandy.
It’s not the advice you might expect from a small business coach, but here it is: I’ve learned to manage my expectations, and what I really mean to say that is that I have learned to lower my expectations. At one time, the weight of the magical holiday experience rested squarely on my shoulders. I spent endless hours shopping, cleaning, cooking, shopping, decorating, and shopping. Christmas Dinner was a formal event, and the results of my labor were everywhere, you know, scented candles flickering warmly and Christmas carols playing softly in the background. Each gift was carefully opened, admired, and of course would be treasured for years to come.
Are you kidding me? Did I mention that my kids are suburban middle-class Americans aged 14, 10, and 5? My magic lasts for about five minutes, and before I’ve picked up the wrapping, they’ve called the Jones’, and are suddenly and urgently aware of what they didn’t get and now must have! It’s OK. I have practiced lowering my expectations so I can just enjoy those precious five magical minutes.
“Lowering expectations” also means keeping it simple. This former die-hard Martha Stewart mother has found it just as fun to decorate pre-made, pre-cut cookies as it is to dust a layer of flour on every surface in my kitchen and wrestle with a rolling pin that I only get out once a year. I think the kids actually prefer to eat OREOS. And Christmas dinner? Ha! This year we went to Hardees. HARDEES! OK, I know I lost some of you there, but read on. Because they LOVED it. LOVED IT! I am the coolest mom ever, because no one had to help me in the kitchen or eat unusual and frightening foods. (By the way, Hardees has come a long way. I had the Angus Mushroom Swiss Burger, and it was quite delicious.)
I’ve also adjusted the expectations that I have for my business. Working in December is like trying to run in water, you can do it, but it is slow motion and requires a lot more energy. I intentionally dial it down. It’s not easy, because entrepreneurs are driven people, and we know that success depends solely on us, so we feel that pressure – especially during the holidays.
But my new mind set allows me to strip it down to one or two things that absolutely need to be done each day. After that, anything else accomplished is icing on the cookies. Fortunately, the month of December also presents some unique opportunities. People are generally in a good mood and social events abound. It’s a networking gold mine. The key is to take it easy, Sales Girl. If you go for a hard sell at a Christmas gathering, you’ll be about as welcomed as a drunken Santa at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. Set your expectation to just enjoy yourself and others. Trust me, your inner networker will shine through and you’ll stumble on opportunities that can be pursued in January. “Kim? Hi. This is Missy Shopshire… we met at Sue’s Annual Holiday Cookie Exchange a few weeks ago. (Yeah, I was the one who brought OREOS….but that’s not why I called….) I wanted to give you a call because I think I may have an opportunity that might be of interest to you….” Take it from there, Entrepreneur. And then go ahead and raise your glass, and your expectations, to a great NEW YEAR!
